This portfolio explores the impact of sexism, gender stereotypes, and societal expectations surrounding femininity and masculinity on my personal journey of self-identity. These themes are deeply significant to me, as they have shaped my experiences from childhood to adulthood, manifesting as a source of both internal conflict and defining aspects of my identity.

 

Being born with the name “Princess”, there was an immediate expectation for me to be “girly” and conform to society’s narrow definitions of femininity. Growing up as a tomboy, these expectations never fully sat with me, but they sparked a question that would stay with me forever: Why does gender have to be limiting? My early protest to these norms led me to dress more masculine, often playing with the boys in my neighborhood as an act of defiance. 

When I moved to the United States at age 8, It was my first time experiencing traditional gender roles being enforced in the home. Suddenly, the way I ate was improper and how I dressed wasn’t the way a “young lady should look like”. Though I understood that the intention of those comments were out of protection, the way it was expressed- which felt often demeaning and restrictive- left me feeling anxious and unsafe. This led me to embrace more masculine forms of self-expression, using them both as a shield and an act of rebellion. 

Now, as I navigate through adulthood, I reflect on how these experiences in my upbringing have influenced the way I present myself to this world. While I have grown to embrace femininity and masculinity equally, I can’t help but question whether my masculinity is, in part, a response to  society’s narrow perceptions of what it means to be a woman. 

 

The two artists that captured my attention were Heather Evans Smith and Mara Magyarosi-Laytner. Both of these artists were vulnerable within their work and created something incredible. Smith creates evocative, emotive, and intimate photos which I wanted to take inspiration from when shooting for the “childhood” section of my portfolio. In Blue, she represented colors for emotion, blue being for sadness and melancholy. From this, I wanted to use dull and warm colors as symbols of the past. When I recall memories from my childhood, it shines bright and leaves a feeling of warmth as I’ve had an emotional attachment to those moments. Contrary to the brighter aspects of the photo, the dull colors represent how time fades and the way we perceive the truth and reality of these memories. The biggest inspiration I’ve had so far is Mara Magyarosi-Laytner. Aspects of double exposure, symbolism, and experimentation in her work inspired me to apply it into my own photographs. She had encouraged me to be more experimental with my work which I took, and started layering my photos with harsh overlays to create a bold, saturated contrast. From editing my photos this way, she gave me the validation to continue with this style and have the essence of the editing throughout my portfolio, which gave me the structure to start creating other ideas. I felt that the editing style would perfectly fit the “past” section of  my portfolio, as that was a period of time where I was searching for who I really was, and experimenting with my own self-identity. By editing my photos this way, I am able to symbolize the many layers of me, who I am, and what I’ve become.